Like A Kid In A Candy Store
by Chelstar
Summary: Bulma coerces Vegeta into a fun-filled day of shopping. One shot, B/V. Rated M for language and suggestive themes. Don't forget to review, this is my first story in a long time!


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DRAGON BALL Z OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. This is only fan fiction. Please read and review ^.^**

Vegeta's patience was wearing thin.

Bulma had manipulated him into yet another of her blasted shopping trips, threatening to demolish his gravity chamber if he refused to accompany her. He'd been strict with himself about forming attachments ever since Freiza had murdered his parents and blown his planet to bits, but to have his own MATE exploit him in such a way, weak human that she was…

It was ludicrous, and he was without defense. If he killed the woman, who would repair his bots and upgrade the gravity system in her place? Surely not her father. That old man was weak and slow, and wouldn't be inclined to follow orders if Vegeta murdered his only child. He supposed he could use Bulma's mother against the man, but if he killed her too, who would remain to watch his brat of a son?

Sighing, he raised his gaze to the roof, sun filtering through the glass panels to glint off the many shiny and absurdly large shopping bags he was laden with. When had killing become so complicated…

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, WOMAN!"

Bulma had come to an abrupt stop directly in front of him, resulting in a shower of shoe boxes as they collided. She threw her arms up over her head to shield herself, glaring at the Saiyan Prince in outrage. "Hold it right there buddy - YOU ran into ME!"

"Hmph." Muttering under his breath, Vegeta went about collecting the scattered purchases while Bulma stared with pursed lips at whatever had rendered her incapable of looking and walking at the same time.

"Spencer's, huh. I don't think I've been in there before. Maybe we can find something for Trunks!" Without another word, she went wandering off into the store, leaving Vegeta to precariously balance her parcels all on his own. Growling in frustration, he gathered them all in his arms and dumped them collectively next to the shop entrance, where a security guard was dozing on the job.

"Human!" Vegeta barked, startling the man out of his nap. "Guard my belongings while I browse your wares." Stalking into the store in search of the woman, the Saiyan failed to catch the incredulous look on the guard's face as he scratched his thatch of blond hair in confusion. They really didn't pay him enough.

Bulma was easy to pick out. Vegeta found her in a far corner of the shop, staring at a wall covered in strange, colourful apparatus. As he made his approach, he took note that she seemed somehow more hideous than usual. A quick assessment showed him that she was biting her bottom lip, her face inflamed as an absolutely devious expression took over her features. Vegeta's eye twitched. Slowly, he did a double take for a closer look at just what exactly was on display.

There, two feet from his face, was a grotesque mockery of a penis. It was pink and full of sparkles, with what resembled a small earth mammal on one side and some sort of spiral on the other. In bold letters on the top, it read 'Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulator'.

If the vein in his temple throbbed any harder, it was sure to burst. "What the BLOODY HELL is that!?" The Saiyan Prince was mortified as his eyes flit rapidly from one box to another. 'Dolphin Rotating Pearl Vibrator' stood out boldly, along with 'Hott Love Kinky Bullet Set', which contained a number of items resembling alien water creatures he'd seen during his missions.

"Being angry with you doesn't mean I can't have my own fun, you know."

Vegeta's head snapped to the side at the vixen's voice. She winked at him, turned on her heel and beckoned for him to follow with a curl of her finger.

Flushed with embarrassment, Vegeta crossed his arms tightly over his chest and did as she bid him, glaring hotly at anyone who so much as glanced in his direction. One thing was certain: he'd blow this place and everything in it to bits before she bought any of this garbage for their son. Or herself, for that matter.

The next twenty minutes consisted of Bulma reading aloud the slogans of every gag T-shirt in the place, failing miserably to interest him in any of them. He didn't remotely trust her judgement in garments, and hadn't since his first day back on the planet when she'd left him nothing to wear but a hideous pink shirt and banana coloured pants. At least this section was better than the first one. Real or fake, abomination or not, he'd never have a penis that close to his face again. If you could even call a tiny thing like that a penis. How absurd.

He glared studiously at the back of Bulma's head. She had moved on to coffee mugs, and he was tuning her out as she read them one by one. Did she really use those vulgar things or had she just been mocking him? What could she possibly get out of those meager toys after having the Prince of all Saiyans? There could be no satisfaction from anyone or anything after taking him as lover. Setting his jaw, he resolved to root through her things until he found any and all sex devices and incinerated the lot of them.

"How about this one, Vegeta?" Bulma threw him a coy smile, holding out a coffee mug that said 'I have the pussy, I make the rules'.

He snorted with derision, drumming his fingers against his bicep.

"Oh, come on. Lighten up."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Okay tough guy, I KNOW you'll like this one." Bulma practically shoved the next mug at him. It was white with dark blue font, and he took it reluctantly in his hands, holding it up for a closer look.

It read 'A giant cup of I'M SURROUNDED BY FUCKING IDIOTS'.

His grip on the mug tightened as his lips twitched and his shoulder shook.

"…Vegeta?"

His face reddened rapidly, and for a moment Bulma feared he was having some sort of seizure – but only for a moment. No sooner had the thought come to mind than he threw his head back with a boom of unrestrained laughter. Bulma's face lit up, and she couldn't help but laugh with him. It was so seldom that Vegeta let his guard down and really allowed himself to enjoy anything. Averse as he was to letting loose, every small success with him was a gold medal in her books, and nothing warmed her heart more.

Vegeta knew as much. As his laughter faded, he let a small smile linger for her enjoyment. She'd earned it, after all.

"Buy this with one of your plastic cards, woman. I'll make use of it at your next gathering with Kakarot and his worthless friends." He turned the cup this way and that in his fingers, reading it once more with a smug look on his face. Bulma let out a squeal of excitement that threatened to pierce his eardrums, and snatched the 'I make the rules' mug for herself before heading towards the checkout line.

To her surprise, Vegeta stepped away into another isle. Bulma hesitated, wanting to follow him but reluctant to lose their place since they'd almost reached the counter. She was practically squirming with curiosity by the time her Prince reappeared, a clothes hanger hooked around his fingers. Attached to it was a bag with some sort of fur trimmed ensemble inside. Vegeta shoved it towards her as she was trying to make out the details, then turned sharply away as a flush crept up his neck to stain his chiseled face.

It was their turn to pay. Bulma set the mugs on the counter, followed by the package Vegeta had chosen, and balked. Within it was a very racy two piece with garters, stockings, some soft rope and a blindfold. She didn't need to see the look on his face to know that she was in trouble, and would be punished later that day for her earlier comment. Excitement thrilled in her veins. This was one of their best days out in a long time, and he hadn't so much as threatened to kill anyone yet! They were really making progress as a couple.

Or so she thought, until the cashier ringing them through gave her chest a lingering look. He whistled appreciatively, giving the costume bag a shake.

She nearly fell over as Vegeta shoved her aside, lurching to grab the boy's throat. "Unless you want to be wearing those garments with my boot fucking your ass, I suggest you keep your eyes off my mate." His teeth gnashed threateningly, and Bulma quickly threw a hefty bill on the counter before grabbing their merchandise and hauling her beast of a husband towards the exit. The cashier coughed and sputtered, and Bulma could have sworn she heard someone say 'gross dude, you wet your pants' as they left the store. They gathered their things quickly in front of a very suspicious mall cop, and made for the closest exit with Vegeta cursing loudly all the way.

So much for progress.

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**Please favorite this story if you enjoyed it, and don't forget to review if you took the time to read this, since I took the time to write it for you!  
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